Once in school I encountered certain widespread misunderstandings about emotional intelligence. Let me clear up some of these common fallacies. First, emotional intelligence does not mean merely being nice . At certain instances, especially strategic moments it may demand not being nice , but rather, case in point, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but significant truth they’ve been avoiding. Second, emotional intelligence does not mean giving free lead to feelings that is, letting it all hang out . Rather, it means managing feelings so that they are expressed appropriately and effectively, enabling people to work together smoothly toward their common goals. Also, women are not smarter than men when it comes to emotional intelligence, nor men are superior to women. Each of us has a personal profile of strengths and weaknesses in these capacities. Some of us may be highly emphatic but lack some abilities to handle our own distresses; others may be of the subtlest shi...
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