Skip to main content

Women Shop, men buy

A woman would browse through shops for hours for nothing in particular, or that item in a particular shade or size or design. Men, on the other hand, walk into a shop and go for the kill, and will be done with 'shopping' in a matter of minutes.


Money is a loaded topic; perceived differently by men and women, how it is earned, spent and what it symbolises.

More often than not, conversations about money among couples amount to arguments about it. Usually, there is one who hoards and the other one spends too much.




Of all factors that drive couples apart money is a huge factor. One basic difference in the outlook about money is that men see the world as a battle field where there is a winner and a loser. We are aggressive about how money is sought and having all or most say in how it is spend.

Women, on the other hand, concentrates on and would spend big on sprucing up herself and of course her home.thus the uncountable pairs of shoes, constant browsing for home and other items and of course, time in the salon.

It is no wonder, that a lady friend of mine felt that men tend to splurge on electronics, cars and of course women while we could be spending on more important and long-term assets such as a parcel of land and a house. We rarely spend on ourselves but on things.

So why is it difficult for men and women to change their outlook on money, even if it threatens an otherwise happy union?

The differences between men and women are as much in the mind as they are in their physical make up.

Our minds are wired to understand systems and we enjoy challenges. We have been socialised to value ourselves by what we do in terms of work. A car, which will be seen by others as a show and declaration of status by its make and value, will therefore solicit attention as we unconsciously polish our image, so do we polish the car.

The same dedication and readiness is not forthcoming especially when it comes to cleaning or polishing anything in the home or indulge on a set of dishes or curtains because it would not score us points.

Why do men hate Shopping?

We are wired to achieve and women to explore.

Women will want to see every available option first, take in the array of colours, designs and most likely, the company of another female which to us is a serious waste of time and of course, money.

Why would we keep quiet when there are financial problems rather than admit I am short of cash or ask for my wife or girlfriend's help?

We are programmed to be providers and defenders of the family. Our value in society is also pegged on how much we have achieved materially. Admitting lack is admitting failure, so we would rather hide the fact that we are broke.

Then how comes we are willing to spend on night outs and weekends away with the boys but cannot be inclined to spend on a nice evening out with the girlfriend or wife?

Answer: you are at home, you are mine and so the mission is complete and now it is time to move on a conquer other things such as career or business. It sounds cold, but a potential girl is a challenge and once she has been overcome, the mind just concentrates on other things.

Is there any good reason for women spending so much on items like shoes, bags, skin products and curtains?

Answer: while a man is socialised to be a hunter, a woman expects to be hunted. A woman is socialised to believe that her worth as a woman lies in being able to snag the best, thus taking time to look her best which may be through shoe fetish and a little more on perfumes and skin products. Also part of her value is nurturing and that includes a cozy home hence a need to spend on curtains, the dinner set and other home decor items.

Why do women expect consultations on spending, if a man is the main provider?

Answer: Women see themselves as a part of a team they are a couple, while we see ourselves as solely responsible for providing, thus will not consult on big purchases or sale of assets. She is not so much concerned with purchases or sales but she would be satisfied to know her opinion is important.

How to achieve financial compatibility?

To avoid the accuser and defender lock horns, there is a need to sort out specific issues on spending tendencies rather than argue that one always overspends or is stingy.

  1. Give each other financial space through separate accounts apart from the joint account. Spend the money in your account as you wish, as long as family finances are taken care of first.
  2. Separate individual and 'married' goals and budget family finances based on this. For example, individual goals maybe going back to school and the joint goals may be a mortgage and children's expenses.
  3. Set your standards, rather than go with the society's expectations. For example, if the woman earns more, allocate funds in away agreeable to both of you rather the common thought that the man must do the most or at least more than the woman.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Verify Your Land Title Deed is Genuine

Cases of forged title deeds are on the increase. Therefore, people are losing money to con men as they are taken advantage of due to their ignorance regarding land transaction matters. While thinking of owning land, it is vital to be aware of how you can verify a title deed before investing your hard earned cash.

As you plan to commit your money to buy and construct your dream home, verify that, the seller is the genuine owner, the land exists and is free from restrictions. Also be sure that you are not buying land on a road or railway reserve and above all, that the title deed is genuine.

How farmers can double their bean yield production

"As Jack slept, the beans germinated in the soil, and by morning a big beanstalk grew in their place. When Jack saw the great beanstalk, he immediately decided to climb..." This is a classic scenario of 'Jack and the Beanstalk' fairy tale. The same is true for Kenya's bean variety that climbs and spreads on sticks producing double the yield of local varieties.

Due to subdivision of land in Kenya, farmers are not able to produce enough beans to feed the 38.6 million people living in Kenya.This is mainly due to shrinking land sizes. This is the reason why high yielding varieties of beans that only need a small area to grow has been developed. These new varieties of beans require support with stakes (sticks) to climb on when they are growing.


The beans can grow up to a height of 3.5 meters. The long stems of this variety of beans enable it to produce more pods as compared to the normal bean varieties (bush bean).   With good management climbing beans can produce u…

Herbal Plants used for Alternative Medicine with no side effect

In a sad note, most indigenous informants keep herbal knowledge, especially the actual preparation methods, strictly secret. Luckily, an aged medicine man from Gatundu in Central Kenya, whose great knowledge of medicinal plants facilitated the write-up of this article.
In part one of this article, plants are grouped according to their medicinal use. According to the aged medicine man, simply boil the leaves, roots or the bark; add honey or milk or soup to sweeten the concoction. He recommends taking a glass in the morning and in the evening for preventive measures. 
He cautions on their medicinal uses which should be considered as neither preparation methods nor dosage prescription are provided. This is a topic that would require much more time and I have decided to leave it for part two of this article.
Best Herbal Plants for alternative Medicine with no side effects

I have grouped their medicinal uses in three parts which are,       Alternative medicine for preventive measuresHerbal …